Mosquito Bites
by Katelyn Crosthwait
Caden Crosthwait(brother), Myself, Steve Crosthwait (father), Shiprock NM, 2007
Abstract: Shiprock, New Mexico is home to just 8,966 residents. Why in a city so big do only 8,966 citizens choose to reside there, that is because Shiprock is a census designated place located on the Navajo reservation. Ship rock ( Tsé Bitʼaʼí, in Navajo meaning ‘rock with wings’) itself is a sacred mountain to the Navajo people that tells how a great bird carried the ancestral Navajos from far north to the current homeland in American Southwest. Shiprock has and will always have a special place in my heart as that is where my grandparents lived and where my grandmother still lives. As well as it being the city my mother was raised in and lastly it is the resting place of my late grandfather Terry Sr. When I think of Shiprock more good than bad comes to mind. As this is the place that holds numerous memories that I share with my grandparents; from going to the flea market, to pow wows, to riding the horses up the mountain, to ceremonial traditional Navajo prayers and meetings. The bad side to Shiprock New Mexico is the racial difference most of the people have when seeing me on first sight. But little do they know I am 25% Navajo and considerably a part of their ‘group’. One of the biggest frustrations I face when I visit Shiprock is being called a ‘half-bread’, while statistically that may be correct mentally my heart is full of the Navajo traditions and morals. Another bad that comes to mind when recollecting Shiprock is the poverty levels many of the people still face such as no running water, no electricity, low access to food. But through it all this city is one near and dear to my heart.
Terry Sr. Sanford, Shiprock NM, 2005
Terry Glenn Sr. Sanford was born in Sentinel Oklahoma on September 12, 1952. Terry was the son of Alice and Glenn Sanford. He was the oldest of four kids, his younger sister Paula Overbrides, his younger brother Travis Sanford,and his younger sister Kathy Khunn. He was married to Angela Sanford for 38 short years and the father to three boys Bill, Corey, and Terry Jr. and one girl, Saprina. Terry and his family lived in Shiprock, New Mexico and he worked as an assistant regional supervisor of Frontier Communications on the Navajo Nation.
Cancer, cancer has roughly affected my life since I was just six years old and hasn’t given me a break yet. I have lost approximately four close family members and ten friends and distant relatives. But more internally cancer has affected me most through the loss of my maternal grandfather Terry Glenn Sr. Sanford. Papa Terry was diagnosed with Metastatic Gastric cancer in 2007. Over the years pain from his experience has only elongated with me but not till recently have I become more and more motivated to research the new innovative procedures for a cure. Another key part to my curiosity for contemporary methods is the recent passing of my step grandfather Leonard Haskie. Leonard was my grandma Angie’s companion after the passing of my maternal grandfather. Leonard was a medicine man (haatlai) on the Navajo Nation reservation. A medicine man is historically known to be a traditional healer that performs ceremonial cures that are targeted at the body, mind and spirit. Therefore when he was diagnosed with liver duct cancer late last year in 2019 chemotherapy and radiation was not an option in his mind. Instead he temporarily utilized natural herbs and remedies. After a years long battle with liver duct he would finally lose in October of 2020.
Leonard Haskie, 2018
Through these two trials I have grown to want to challenge a various group of people such as nurses, cancer research groups, and college students studying medicine to find new treatment plans that are less taxing on one’s body such as the new ‘smart drug’. According to the UK Cancer research group “new technology has allowed scientists to engineer smarter cancer drugs that can precisely target and kill tumour cells in the lab. These drugs can use specialised bits of DNA, proteins and other molecules to home in on ‘red flags’ that make these lab-grown cancer cells unique. But the real challenge comes when trying to get these experimental treatments to reach the tumour cells in patients”. So what if we could find new innovative ways to deliver these ‘smart drugs’ to all cells in the body, but only kill cancer cells. Another question that I am challenging that group is there a way we can develop vaccines to prevent cancers that are not caused by viruses? For example, internal factors such as inherited mutations, hormones, and immune conditions. The last challenge is in two parts; one how can we stop the spread of cancer through viruses (environmental factors) such as tobacco, diet, radiation and infectious organisms. Two, how can we use our platforms: social media, personal testimonies, or career groups to educate the different age groups about cancer screenings throughout their lifetime and to keep an updated understanding of the new innovative procedures to curing/slowly down the growth of cancers.
As you will read, my inspiration to bring awareness to people all around the world and to challenge researchers and health care workers comes from the passing of my late grandfather and the passing of my step Grandfather Leonard Haskie. Throughout the process of piecing this work together I have interviewed my grandmother and mother to understand their perspective when enduring the pain from the loss of a loved one. During the questioning I learned so much about how they individually and communionly endeavored through it all and the different coping mechanisms they utilized. One of the biggest takeaways when performing this interview was just how much my grandmother or mother struggled that I never knew about, which led me to completely understand the numerous and widespread perspectives that many face and just how scarring it can be. The similar stories that many families have and face, now let’s see the same story just in three perspectives and the different scars it left on each of them.
Mosquito Bites
Chapter One
What was his favorite sweater?
“Dad’s favorite sweater was navy blue”.
What was his favorite color?
“His favorite color was blue”.
What was his favorite movie?
“His favorite movies were any John Wayne ones”.
What was his favorite candy?
“His favorite candy was black licorice”.
What was his favorite restaurant?
“Terry loved medium rare ribeye steaks”.
What was his favorite song?
“Terry loved the song “Don’t forget me”
Terry Glenn Sr. Sandford, Christmas 2004, Shiprock NM
As a Native American Navajo women tradition is everything nearly sacred. So as she married into a white man’s family on November 5, 1973, she knew she was in for quite a ride but never knew just how bumpy it would become and just how fast it would end. For 38 years the couple Terry Sanford Sr. and Angela Sanford would create a beautiful family of three boys, one girl, numerous foster kids, and six grandchildren. But little did they know, the beginning to the rest of their lives would truly begin when their last son was born, or you could even say miracle son. Terry Jr. the youngest of the kids who was born with a compromised lung disease and labelled special ed and would need care for the rest of his life. But what they weren’t aware of was this was only the beginning to their life inside various and numerous hospital rooms. As time developed and the years passed, the couple would be able watch their kids participate in band, basketball, volleyball, FFA, and a variety of extracurricular school activities. Not until many years later would their ‘first’ bump in their road occur. In 1999, their oldest son Bill Sanford would be killed by a drunk driver in a car accident. As the family endured the pain of the loss of their first born child, their lives had to continue on when they found out not long after his death that he had a baby on the way, which would make them grandparents for the very first time. And so as the years continued their last grandchild would be born on July 22, 2002 and complete their family tree as a Couple.
Terry Jr. Homecare facility 2010
Terry Sr, Myself, Chantorie(cousin), Elijah(brother), Caden(brother), Angela(grandma) Las Vegas trip, 2008
In 2008 and just like any other year the couple would take a family vacation with their two sons, daughter, son-in-law, and four grandchildren. Las Vegas, Nevada and California would be the two travel destinations for that year. Disneyland, the beach, Hollywood walkway, Chinatown, Winham resort, and circus circus were just some of the spots they would see and enjoy each other’s company at. One night at dinner would Angela mention to her daughter Saprina the dramatic visual weight difference in her husband Terry. This trip would be the discovery of Terry’s acid reflux diagnoses which lead him to lose 20 pounds in a matter of three weeks. And nearly after all the fun was over and it was time for the families to split and return to their respected homes would their nightmares begin. On Sunday as the families departed back home, Terry Sr. began to throw up so much that as soon as the couple made it home on Monday they would seek medical attention at San Juan Hospital located in Farmington, New Mexico. On first sight the doctors said he was extremely dehydrated and began to take several tests. Not until Wednesday would they get any sort of update; his blood work tests are normal, but how? The doctor then suggested to Angela to perform an exploratory surgery that would last from 7am to 9am. Not until seven hours later would the doctor come out and provide the news that they had to remove his whole stomach.
“WHAT” , ‘how is he going to eat’ were the first words out of Angela’s mouth.
The doctor then proceeded to say:
Ma’am when we took an autopsy it would come back negative but when we performed the surgery we discovered the presence of cancer hidden in the stomach layer.
Shock was an understatement.
All Angela could do was cry and hug her daughter Saprina.
For the next three years Terry Sr. would battle Metastatic Gastric Cancer . The first two years he would live with his daughter Saprina and family in Washington, Oklahoma. During those two years you would never think with a naked eye that he was battling cancer, the only visual difference was his weight. Terry would endure every day as if nothing was ever wrong with him, he would work on the farm: feeding animals, building fences and barns, growing crops, and plowing the fields. But the hardest part was the numerous days he would spend apart from his wife Angela. Back in New Mexico, she was working as the District Judge for the Navajo Nation and taking care of Terry Jr. therefore she would come down as often as it allowed. After those two years in Oklahoma and even the disappearance of the cancer he would move back home to Naschitti, New Mexico and pursue his lifelong goal of building his wife and their dream house out on the reservation. Until one day he was building on the roof and would forget to strap himself into a safety harness resulting into another family nightmare. Terry would fall off the roof breaking multiple bones: skull, ribs, wrist, ankle, and many small fractures throughout his body.
*ring, ring ring*
Hello?
Hello sis, Terry fell off the roof while working today.
I need you to meet us at the hospital in Gallup.
*hangup*
Angela immediately left work and travelled an hour and 50 minutes to Gallup but when she got there she would be told that they don’t have the tools and resources to provide the care to him that he desperately needs.
“Ma’am, are you Terry Glenn Sr’s. wife”?
“Yes, yes I am”.
“We are going to need to mediafly him to San Juan medical hospital”
:Okay see you there”.
*Gets in her truck and takes off to San Juan which was a two hour and 30 minute drive*
Praying is all she had the ability to do.
“Lord please let him make it”.
As she arrived at the hospital she ran to the front desk asking what room Terry Glenn Sr. Sanford was in.
“ma’am we have no current patient under that name”
“what, what do you mean he was supposed to be medflighted over here from Gallup”
“okay ma’am let me look”
“yes ma’am there is a helicopter in route from gallup but they have not yet arrived”.
* She had beat the helicopter*
Alice Holland, Homecare facility, 2010
But as soon as he arrived and a couple days of surgeries and scans he would be stabilized. Months into recovery the family would learn about the reappearance of Gastric Cancer but this time for good. Terry Sr. and his family found out the news that his cancer was back and this time it was terminal. The road was very tough for everyone with his pre-existing injuries; he needed more professional care than what any of the individual family members could provide. From there he would be placed into a HomeCare facility where he would receive the proper care for nine short months. Angela and Alice, Terry’s mother would stay by his side through each and every day, while Saprina and her husband Steve would come for a month at a time and then have to return to their kids for about two weeks then return back to Terry. Along the way a variety of other family members would come and visit but on May 17, 2011 Terry Sr. would lose his fight to Metastatic Gastric Cancer after a long 3 year battle.
What were objects that you remember when first finding out the news he contracted cancer (for the first time)? Are there any smells you can remember smelling when first finding out?
“I can only remember the hospital smell, the typical hospital smell”.
Did you have an object or person that you leaned on during the process and battle of cancer?
“I totally depended on my daughter, Saprina Crosthwait and mother in law Alice Holland. I gave them the power of attorney, as I was too weak and unable to make a serious decision for my husband”.
How did you educate yourself to be able to take care of him when he lived at home through treatments?
“I did not, I was too weak to get into cancer education sessions, and encouraged my husband to live with my daughter in Oklahoma”.
In the midst of it all how did you take care of yourself physically and mentally?
“Seeing my poor husband go through chemotherapy was horrible, he only weighed 100 pounds. The tearful and anguish feeling of having the ability to eat my own food while he had to be fed through a tube that was inserted to his stomach was awful. This aching situation made me more thankful for our functioning body parts. I utilized traditional Navajo prayers and herbs for my husband. But I did not take care of myself mentally or physically, I was numb and many times just blank. It is the most painful experience I’ve had and to this day refuse to go seek care from mental health facilities. I resort to my own Indian prayers and herbs; smoke the mountain smoke, black ash prayers, and protection prayers.
What was his last day like for you?
“Tuesday morning I got dressed in black dress pants and a white blouse with turquoise jewelry and around 6:00am my husband called me over and said “hold my hand” and said “thank you for being by my side as my supporter, I love you very much and remember to be strong, give me a kiss”. I gave him a kiss on his forehead and lips and began to cry and said “I love you too dad and thank you for everything you have done for our family and helped us when we needed you most”. We sat there and cried for a few minutes and I then said “I can just stay, but dad said no my mom will be coming soon don’t miss your work”. I then left around 7:00 am when his mom came, from there I was headed to my pretrial for work at 8:30. Just as I got on the main highway “ring ring ring” “hello” “get here as fast as you can baby Terry is leaving” *hung up*. I picked up Corey (my son) and drove admittingly way to fast back to Farmington but Dad had gone to be with the lord around 8:30am”.
Chapter Two
Saprina and Terry Sr, wedding 2009
What was his favorite sweater?
“I am not sure if he had a favorite sweater, but he loved to wear this navy and white zip up light jacket I got from Abecrombie and Fitch for him and his brown puff jacket-vest”.
What was his favorite color?
“His favorite color is blue”.
What was his favorite movie?
“His favorite movie was The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly and most old time western movies. He told me when I was feeling like I needed some good advice to watch the Andy Griffith show and Little House in the Prairie.
What was his favorite candy?
“His favorite candy was the Cherry Mash candy, maple goodies and black licorice. His favorite Christmas candy was the date loaf and infinity candy”.
What was his favorite restaurant?
“His favorite restaurant was this little mexican hole in the wall in New Mexico. His favorite drink was Dr. pepper. And his favorite ice cream was black walnut”.
What was his favorite song?
His favorite band was from Creedence Clearwater Revival: Fortunate Son, Heard it Through the Grapevine and Proud Mary”.
Terry Sr. and Saprina, HomeCare Facility 2010
On September 6, 1976 the only daughter of the Sanford family was born. ‘Daddy’s little angel’ was the pure and only definition of their relationship. He would teach his little girl Saprina how to swim, drive, play basketball, cook, and even help her through many heartbreaks. The first feeling of love was exemplified to her through her father Terry Glenn Sr. So when she decided to move 12 hours away from home to attend the University of Oklahoma for college nothing but tears would stream down her face as she said “Bye daddy”. But like always life goes on and in her case a little faster than expected. In just her sophomore year of college she would find out she was pregnant with a little boy. Not what you typically plan but with the love of her father she was at ease with the challenges that laid ahead of her.Destiny is what some may call it, soul mate is what Saprina had in mind on May 24,1996 she and her husband Steve Kyle Crosthwait would tie the knot. As she continued onward with her college career in November of 1996 her oldest child would be born, Elijah Kyle Crosthwait. Nonetheless it was hard caring for a child for the first time, attending college classes, and having to find sources for income to care for what is now your little family. But what she didn’t know was that her dad would find a small house on lots of land for her family 30 minutes south of the University where they would be able to live and eventually grow their family. So after four years went by, graduated college, raised their first child, travelled the world they decided to bring another baby into the world. On August 8, 2000 Katelyn Keone Crosthwait was born. And surely in enough time their last child would make an appearance on July 22, 2002, Caden Kyle Crosthwait. Raising three children in a two bedroom house was not the easiest so when time and money allowed itself, her father Terry Sr. would come to the rescue once again and help build their dream house where after 17 years they still reside in.
Still Saprina living 12 hours away from her family was hard, not having the ability to just drive up to see your parents for a day or two or even just drop your kids off when you had last minute plans change. So every opportunity they had to reunite such as holidays, birthdays, long weekends, and even just weekends either families had the capability to get off work was a time well spent with each other. So in 2008 the families got together and took a family vacation to Las Vegas and California. Enjoying all the activities and time spent together up until one night at dinner Angela mentions to Saprina.
“ sis do you think dad has lost a lot of weight?”
“Yeah, he’s the skinniest I’ve ever seen him”
As the night ends so does the vacation because the following day would be the day the families returned to their home states of Oklahoma and New Mexico.
myself , Terry Jr. and Terry Sr. California, 2008
The nightmare no one wants to have was a quick reality for Saprina as she just arrived back home in Oklahoma from the family vacation. Upon returning home she got news that her dad was going to the ER to get checked on.
Caden,myself, Chantorie(cousin), Grandma, Elijah, Corey (uncle) back row far left Steve, far right Terry Sr., Pier, Cali. 2008
What were objects that you remember when first finding out he contracted cancer? IE. any smells or objects you can remember when first finding out?
“ I got the news that he was headed to the ER and that they would perform an exploratory surgery to see what was going on. As soon as I got off the phone I immediately drove 11 hours to be there. I was already tired and drove like a mad woman. My thoughts and prayers were that I would be able to get there before he had surgery. However, he went in before I got there. Although I did not make it before he went in I made it there just in time for the doctor to come out and update my mom and I. I didn’t even have the chance to really process anything they were saying or really say anything myself. All I could physically do was hug my mom when they told us the news. They said they found cancer in his stomach and already had to remove it and would be putting in a feeding tube. I was shocked, couldn’t believe the words, through all his previous appointments for his acid reflexes and there were no findings or diagnosis of cancer in the slightest. As I reflect, I can remember feeling so sick to my stomach and just an overwhelming presence of helplessness. I remember the smell of the hospital, the clorox and a flowery mix. I don’t remember many objects but that my thoughts were on what the doctors had just said and just how is he going to eat again?”
No one was ready for the road that lies ahead of them but as her father did anything for her she would do the same in return. So for two years out of his three years of battling cancer he would live in Oklahoma and receive the attention he needed by his daughter and grandkids. During his two years of living there he would achieve many things and leave Saprina and her family with many memories to keep; he built a barn for his daughter, produced many crops, and took care of their agriculture. That’s not to say he also drove and picked up the kids from school, attended their events, and shaped them in many ways that they will all one day appreciate.
What was your favorite memory from when your dad lived with you and your family?
“ My favorite memory from when he lived with me wasI guess maybe when papa would do these dances: the stanky leg and interior crocodile alligator in the kitchen with you kids with his red long john pajamas on, or just the memories when we built the barn together. There was this snake memory or the memory when his brother-in-law got set on fire, too many to say one was my favorite but these ones had me laughing and smiling the most”.
As the memories wined down and the time passed on he would make the decision to move back to New Mexico with his wife Angela and son Terry Jr. There he would work just as much and build a new house for his own family. Not too long after moving back would his life changing fall occur.
*ring ring ring*
“Sis, dad had an accident on the roof and is being rushed to San Juan hospital”
“ what happened, is he okay, what is gonna happen, is he going to make it, do i need to come down now”
* a confusion of thoughts had taken place in Saprina’s mind*
Although Saprina was overwhelmed with what had happened to her father and was curious about his condition she stayed home until she could get clear sentences out of her mother and truly find the condition of her dad. A week goes by and she decides to take a trip to New Mexico by herself to see for herself just how bad her dad was, the kids stayed back because they were still in school and her husband Steve stayed back to care for them. As three weeks go by her kids are curious where she is at, so finally they decide to take off work and school and take a visit to New Mexico themselves. There as a whole family now they would be dropped the most heart wrenching news, the cancer is back and it is terminal. Every emotion is being displayed by the adults as they are the first to find out and the next sad thing for Saprina and Steve was the relayel of the message to their kids. So after all the family would find out, they would never take for granted the time they had left to spend with their dad, father-in-law, and grandfather. Especially Saprina, she would stay in New Mexico with her father in the HomeCare Facility for three weeks and then go back to Oklahoma for a week and some days and then back to New Mexico for three weeks. Saprina took advantage of every opportunity she had to spend time with her dad, get his last wishes, get things done for him that he was still thinking about on that bed, cater to him his favorite foods, play cards and do puzzles, and lastly just learn from the wisdom he had left to share with her. Nine quick months go by and she is at the time back in Oklahoma for his kids end of school year awards assembly.
*ring ring ring*
In a whisper, “hello”
“Hello, baby dad just passed”
*walks out of the awards ceremony, and falls out of weakness”
“There’s no way he was just on the phone with me talking just fine, dad there’s no way you just told me to call you back…”
*phone hangs up*
{Back story}
In the car ride to the school Saprina had been on the phone with her dad talking about how he felt and discussing her morning of going to watch the kids. Terry and Saprina talk for five or so minutes and as always Terry loves himself a glass of sweet tea in the morning. As he goes to take a drink a sudden choking feeling floods over Terry and he tells his daughter
“Baby let me call you back”
“Okay daddy, I love you”
“I love you too sis”
Shortly after Terry would lose his fight with cancer and that would be the last time Saprina ever got to hear her dad’s voice.
Did you have an object/person that you leaned on during the process?
“I leaned on God and my family during this process. Lots of prayers and talks”.
How did you educate yourself to be able to take care of him?
“I talked to the doctors, asked a lot of questions, looked up stuff online and asked my dad what he felt and how to handle his needs with the new normal for him and our family”.
In the midst of it all how did you take care of yourself (mentally/physically)?
“Mentally I would pray and tell myself that since my dad was so strong that I needed to be strong for him and our family.” “Physically I would say that I did not do a good job since I had to work, help with his care and raise a family. So that was put on the side to help with their needs first”.
Chapter Three
Terry Sr. and myself, school valentines day party 2009
What was his favorite sweater? “His favorite sweater was this light brown puffy American eagle vest, to which we have saved to this day that is in our extra room. But he would also love to steal any jackets he could steal that lied around the downstairs, I remember one time he took one of my moms like girly jackets and was totally okay with wearing it and even went into town still wearing it”
What was his favorite color?
“His favorite color was blue, any shades of blue”
What was his favorite movie?
“ Ehhh thats a tough one, if I had to choose one it would be the Andy Griffith show or How to make it. He would always watch Andy Griffth in the morning with either a glass of sweet tea or A cup of coffee.
What was his favorite candy?
“ His favorite candy that he made my favorite candy was this candy they offered at Atwoods called maple goodies, he also enjoyed eating these red french burnt peanuts”.
What was his favorite restaurant?
“His favorite restaurant was either this place about 10 minutes away from our house in Oklahoma called Rudy’s or this pizza hole in the wall called Joe’s Pizza”.
What was his favorite song?
“ I don’t remember a specific song but he enjoyed listening to country music, specifically George Strait. He also for us kids would listen to Stanky leg or songs by Snoop Dogg.”
There she was the only daughter in the Sanford family having a baby girl, born on August 8, 2000, Katelyn Keone Crosthwait. Terry was ecstatic his only daughter Saprina was having a daughter, little did anyone know that she would be the only maternal granddaughter Terry or Angela would have. Two short years later Katelyn would become the middle child to two boys after the birth of her younger brother Caden in July of 2002 and still making her the only girl child or grandchild. So spoiled rotten is what she grew up being, although she was quite the daddy’s little girl herself her grandpa Terry was all she needed in life. Growing up she doesn’t recall many times she got to spend time with ‘papa Terry’ at least for a long period of time. One memory she does recall was on Christmas day and this year the Crosthwait’s travelled to New Mexico to spend it there. So papa was going all out for his three grandchildren. On Christmas eve all the kids got to open one gift at midnight, so there we had a room full of excitement but no sign on Papa.
*confusion*
Katelyn to her mom, “momma where is papa we can’t open them until he here”
“Baby just go head and open them he is working with the horses and will be here soon”
Minutes go by *thud*
Everyone runs outside Kids scream “SANTAAAA”
Adults “ oh no, Terry are you okay”
Terry had tripped on the front patio as he was dressed up as Santa Claus with a bag of gifts for the kids
* a bunch of laughter filled the air and that was the year my older brother realized Santa was not real*
As the kids grew up to be twelve, eight and six it was time to take the traditional family vacation this time to Las Vegas and California. The family would visit numerous locations: the beach, the pier, Disneyland, circus circus and many more spots. Katelyn’s favorite was the beach as it was her first time ever visiting one and she got to spend as much time as she wished picking up seashells. As so the recognition of papa’s weight difference was made while on the trip, Katelyn was oblivious to it all. During the trip she enjoyed every second with her papa and her family the only tough part of the trip was leaving. After two weeks of spending time with her papa it was time to leave and go home and get ready for the new school year.
As the weeks passed by and the new school year was on the rise, Katelyn had no worries or stress but only cared about what she was going to wear on the first day of school. And then BAM, Katelyn was dropped to news of the condition of her papa Terry. At eight years old not much understanding of Cancer had taken place and definitely no true conception to just exactly what cancer was capable of doing. The only comprehension she had was that her papa was feeling sick and was moving to Oklahoma so that we could take care of him. And well Katelyn took that to the extreme instead of doing chores she made an agreement with her mom that every night and every morning she would clean out her papas feeding tube and tape on a new gauze pad, she also said she would fill up his bag with his breakfast can and dinner can, as well as give him a shot in his arm twice a week. At that age her mom was very skeptical but after a couple weeks of watching her mother Katelyn was off to the races and giving him all the attention he needed everyday. This made there bond inseparable, as weeks and months went by Katelyn decided this would be a lot more easier if she just slept with papa and if he ever needed anything during the night she would be there, so for the year and half that Terry stayed in Oklahoma Katelyn would sleep by her papas side. And of the trouble those two would get into together is hysterical nowadays but at the time those two worried Saprina and Steve. Terry would attend all her athletic events, all her school parties, take her to this shack for snacks after school, and even sneak her out of the house to buy things at auctions. That was their favorite thing, sneaking out of the house and attending all these farmer markets and auctions. One time at an auction those two came home with an ostrich egg, paintbrushes, horse saddles, drills and tools, and even had bought two farming tractors and an old wooden wagon. Let’s just say that was the last auction that Terry and Katelyn ever attended alone again.
So after two years of creating an inseparable bond between those two Terry still chose to move back to New Mexico and spend time with his wife and son. Then and there at the age of ten Katelyn experienced her first heartbreak. But as her dad always said “life moves on, he’s going to come visit babygirl”. Then there it was the distance had no effect on the two except for physically seeing each other, those two called each other everyday after Katelyn got out of school and talked about who knows what. On top of that they would call one more time and say goodnight, the bond between them was one she’ll never be able to replace nor forget. So one day Katelyn calls her papa after school and talks about her day and what he was up to.
“Hi papa what are you doing?”
“Hi sweetiepie, how was school today? I’m on lunch break right now about to go back on the roof and work on the new house.”
“ it was good papa just miss our snack trips, I have to ride the bus home now..”
“Oh I’m sorry sweetie, you know I’m coming back real soon and we can go get a snowcone”.
*more conversation*
Phone hangs up
A short 30 minutes later does Terry’s traumatic fall take place. And oh the name game began for Katelyn as she found out the news.
“ I should’ve reminded him to harness in, it was my fault. I distracted him at lunch”
Nonetheless Katelyn was the first in the car with her mother trying to skip school to take a trip to New Mexico to see her papa. But sadly her mom wouldn’t let her, until three weeks pass by and the rest of the whole family takes a trip to New Mexico. Shortly after their arrival they would all be notified of the reappearance of his terminal cancer. Katelyn was devastated, refused to leave the HomeCare Facility. However she had to go back to Oklahoma with her dad to go back to school. Although yes she was in school her parents never totally kept her away from her papa, she would visit her papa every other time her mom came back. So she still got to spend a lot of time with him in the HomeCare Facility.
What was your favorite memory from the HomeCare Facility?
“Although my papa never got to leave his room or bed one of my favorite things was to help the nurses with the events that happened with all the other old folks, I loved to help them play bingo, paint and color. But my overall favorite memory was when we snuck my papa out of the home so that he could go eat at this Mexican restaurant.”
The return home was always hard but a little excitement was there because she knew after this week she would get to spend the whole summer in New Mexico with her papa. She only had one more week of fifth grade year, so that also meant end of year awards ceremony.
“This year the principles award goes to Katelyn Crosthwait “
*in her visual she recognizes her mom walks out*
Confusion feels the room, why would her mom walk out when she gets her award. Why not take a picture of her like the rest of the moms do…
*she walks out the awards ceremony to see her mom in tears standing by a brick wall*
“Mom are you okay, what’s going on”
“ baby girl your papa pass…. “
“ whaling crying, she didn’t even let her mom finish the sentence and had knew what had happened”
*she immediately left school with her mom and went home to pack her clothes*
Did you have an object/person that you leaned on during the process?
“I slept in his bed in Oklahoma every night he wasn’t there. But through the tough times I leaned on my mom, after I lost my papa I wouldn’t have made it through without her and how strong she was for me”.
How did you educate yourself to be able to take care of him?
“ I watched my mom take care of him and then decided that I wanted to do that and be that person. I also watched youtube videos on how to do certain things or the correct way to give a shot”.
In the midst of it all how did you take care of yourself (mentally/physically)?
“ I still never knew the seriousness of it until he was gone so I was content with spending all the time I could when he lived with us and calling him everyday he was in New Mexico
References:
Vignettes:
House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
Everything I never Told You by Celeste NG
https://www.massgeneral.org/cancer-center/clinical-trials-and-research/translational-research-laboratory/genotyping-and-smartdrugs
https://www.the-scientist.com/notebook/smart-pills-help-monitor-cancer-patients-therapy-66092